Fool for love
by Elmo13
Summary: Jacob tells Bella he imprinted on her to convince her she should be with him. Will he get away with it ? ExB BxJ set during New moon, Edward hasn't returned... yet.
1. Wrecked

**Ok, first chapter, always hard to write. I just want to remind everyone of the context and hopefully set the mood right. ****This story is all I can think about right now, hope you'll like it. **

Wrecked

Emptiness. Nothingness. My life had become a succession of nothing. My heart was dead somewhere in my chest. My entire body was numb, cold, warmth no longer affected me. Nothing. I wanted it that way. Nothingness was better than suffering. Suffering was worst than death. For months and months I dragged my body around like an empty shell. A shell with no will to live, no will to die, just no will at all. That was before I started hanging out with Jacob Black. He had slowly brought me back to reality; he is the best friend I ever had. I was Bella again, a less trusting Bella, a hurt Bella but being Bella's ghost was better than an empty shell. Charlie seemed to think so too, he quickly grew found of Jacob.

When I learned that Jake, my Jake, was a werewolf, I took it pretty hard. Why did I have to be attracted to mystical creatures? I'm okay now though, I met the entire pack and I switched from being a vampire's girl to a werewolf's best friend.

Now here we are, I'll never be in one piece again since my heart is broken but I live again. Jake is helping me step by step but he has one big flaw. He loves me. I don't want to trick him into believing that I love him back in the way he would want me to. Like I said to him, I'm broken. Sometimes I do reckless things to hear Edward's velvet voice in my head. I'm wrecked.


	2. White lie

**Ok, chapter 2. ****Review me if you want me to continue this. I want to remember everyone of the "scene" in New Moon where Bella thinks about how she could eventually give in into Jacob's love for her.**

**The story begins here, it's Jacob's POV.**

White lie

I'm Jacob Black and I'm a werewolf. I love Bella Swan. I hate vampires. It's about everything there is to know about me. Bella and I see each other pretty much every day since I can run faster than the wind.

The legends say that I'll imprint on someone someday in my long life and that I'll be in love beyond anything humans can feel. I think it's crap, I love Bella, not some imprint-on-not-having-a-word-to-say-about-it random girl. The thing is, Bella doesn't want to be with me because of two things, her broken heart and the fact that I'll _maybe_ imprint _someday_. I'm dedicated to the task of healing her heart but I'm afraid the imprinting thing is a dead end that'll ruin my life.

I'm bringing her to the beach today. The sun is miraculously out. Today I'm confessing my feelings to her, today I'm not letting her go without a kiss. I love her.

She looks at me, I can see she is almost about to say yes. My heart is jumping in my chest, I'm afraid I'll burst into a wolf before I know it. 'Jacob, man, calm down. She's about to say yes.' She's about to say something but she stops and sighs. I'm bringing her to the beach today. The sun is miraculously out. Today I'm confessing my feelings to her, today I'm not letting her go without a kiss. I love her.

Before I know it we're walking on the beach, joking around. Bella is more beautiful than ever, she seems so relaxed. I'm so nervous I don't pay attention to what I'm saying, only to what I need to get out of my chest before it explodes. "Jake, you're so bad, I'm sure she's not THAT…" I cut her off; I need to say it now.

"Bells I love you, I need you; I don't care that I'm a werewolf or that you are broken, I want to be with you." I feel free for about a second, than I realise that it would crush me if she turned me down.

"I'm not sure…" She begins, unsure of what to say, I know she's tempted to say she needs me too, I noticed she was more open to me lately, didn't back away from hugs, liked it when I just hold her hands in mine to warm her.

She looks at me, I can see she is almost about to give in. "Will you let me love you, please I beg you Bella." My heart is jumping in my chest, I'm afraid I'll burst into a wolf before I know it. 'Jacob, man, calm down. She's about to say yes.' She's about to say something but she stops and sighs.

"Jacob, I told you, as long as you don't imprint on me, we can't be together. I'm sorry but I rather not start a relationship that is bound to end anyway."

What a perfect excuse, without thinking, words slip through my mouth like they have a will of their own.

"I did." She stops dead in her tracks.

"What?" Her voice is unsure, like she's not sure she heard right.

"I've imprinted on you." Damn, what I am doing? Somehow I can't stop myself from lying. I would like those words to be true with all my heart. 'It's a white lie.' I try to convince myself. I love her, I'll take care of her, no one will ever know. Anyway, how am I supposed to know I haven't imprinted, it's not like they send you a congratulation card for these kinds of things. I'm so anxious, she seems stunned. I bend down to kiss her and she doesn't pull back. "I love you Bells." She opens her lips and I'm in heaven, I kiss her softly, like I always dreamed of and she's kissing me back. It's all I care about.

**Sorry if you think Jacob is too nice to do that, but threaten to get himself killed if Bella didn'****t kiss him in Eclipse wasn't so nice either. I was trying to show how he never intended to do it but simply couldn't resist. Also I forgot to mention English is my second language so be nice with the spelling and everything. **


	3. Werewolf girl

**Hi, Chapter 3's up ! I struggled to write it I swear, I'm afraid my heart belongs only to Edward. I don't own him regretfully. But the story got to go that way for now. I got 2 reviews yeah ! I would like more though, so I want comments from all of you, including those who already reviewed. I'm counting on you guys. **

**Answers to reviews:**

**School Librarian****  
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**I totally agree with you, Bella wasn't near as mad in eclipse as she should have been.**

**TwilightXAngel****  
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**Thank you, keep reading. I need people to tell me if I'm going in the right direction.**

Werewolf girl

Jake and I have been together for 2 months now and it's going really well. I thought it would be weird to kiss again, to walk hands in hands again but nothing in him reminds me of Edward. To begin with, Jake is warmer than the sun itself; it always makes him laugh when I say that. I love making him laugh; he is so happy these days. He says that it's because I'm lovelier than the moon and I tease him about that. The sun making out with the moon; how corny. I love it. We are taking it slow; he understands that I'm not ready for anything more than kisses. I can't even imagine inviting him over to sleep in my bed yet. Edward's memory is still too strong in my room.

I woke up to the light sound of rocks thrown against my window. I smiled. Jake loved to wake me like this. He was convinced it was really romantic. I liked it. I got up and opened my window to find him smiling radiantly up at me beside the big tree. "Come down Bells, I got something to ask you before you leave for school." He stated mysteriously. "I'm coming." I wondered what he needed to ask me that was so urgent, he looked really excited so didn't have to worry about it being a bad news. I dressed up quickly, almost forgetting to put socks on before entering the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and put my hair up into a loose ponytail.

I slowly went downstairs; repressing my enthusiasm so that Charlie wouldn't be suspicious but he was already gone. I opened the door widely. "Come inside, I need to have breakfast." He ran towards me and kissed me lightly before taking the lead towards the kitchen. "What are we eating?" He asked hungrily. "I am having cereal, YOU are having nothing. I know better than let a little ogre like you near MY food." I always teased him about how much he could eat in just one meal. It was a werewolf thing I guess. We laughed. It was Friday, tomorrow we would be free to spend the entire day together. I served myself a big bowl of my favourite cereal and started eating large scoop. I was already late.

"So, what did you want to ask me?" I asked him in between bites. "The entire pack is going camping this week-end and I want you to come with us." He waited for my reaction. I was trilled by the idea, only Charlie would never let me go. It was ridiculous to ask him considering he didn't know I would be protected from my clumsiness by a pack of powerful werewolves. "I would love to, but Charlie won't let me go camping in the woods for two days straight." I sighed, disappointed. Jacob smiled enigmatically at me. "Why are you smiling?" I asked puzzled. 'I must have missed something.' "Don't worry Bells, the Charlie factor is already taken care of." He stated cockily. I could tell he was pretty pleased with himself. "How?" I knew Charlie had a soft spot for Jake, considering him almost like his own son; but a week-end in the woods screamed suicide for the sloppy me. "Billy his taking him fishing in a lake so far from here, they'll probably leave tonight, you are free as a bird."

I was so happy, I spoke without thinking. "You're so great I love you." Jake smile froze before it grew so big I couldn't see anything but it. It was the very first time I said it. He got up and kissed me passionately. His lips felt so warm on mine. Then, he went to place myself beside me and began kissing my neck. I purred at the sensation. "I love you too Bells." He whispered deep in my ear. "You better go or you'll be awfully late." He realised looking at the clock. "We wouldn't that." I murmured my mind still cloudy from his hot kisses. We went out and said goodbye. I got into my trick and while I started the engine, I realised how big the step I had taken today was. I saw Jake run towards the wood and smiled. I really was a werewolf girl.

**So what did you guys think? Is it too much? 2 months put us in what month I'm confused about the chronology in New Moon hihi.**** Also, I keep my chapters really short, even if I post 2 in the same evening, is it annoying ?**


	4. Fire

**Ok, I'm addicted to this story. I'm pretty happy about this chapter but I want your opinion.**

Fire

My classes were more boring than ever. Mike asked me out again and I said no like I did every Friday of every week. The guy really didn't understand rejection. I hadn't told anyone at school about my relationship with Jake, why would I. It's nt like any one of them was close to me or anything. When Edward, damn, it hurts so much to think of his name. When Edward had left, I had created such a big void around me, I didn't know if any of my old friends from school would find their way over it, or if I would allow them in. Only Jake had found his way, but he was special.

When the bell rang, I put all my stuff into my bag and hurried to get home. I needed to get ready for camping tomorrow. "Hey dad I'm home." I greeted Charlie. I noticed he was carrying bags towards the door with a guilty look on his face. "Hum, Bella, I'm going away with Billy for the week-end, I'm sorry honey, if you want me to stay I will…" He spat out so fat I knew he'd been practicing it. "Dad, it's okay, I'll be fine on my own." I said interrupting his speech. I gave him a hug and smiled at him. "I'm glad you're back Bella." He said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "I'm glad too dad." His comment made me think once again how Jacob had saved me. Jake imprinting on me was the best thing that could've happened to me considering the circumstances. I went to my room and quickly realised that I wasn't well equipped for camping. No sleeping bag, no flashlight, no tent. I was relieved when a caught a glimpse of Jacob running towards the house through my window. I ran downstairs to open the door. As soon as he was in my ear sight, I exploded. "Jake, it's horrible." His face switched from happiness to serious worry. "What is it Bells? Did something happen to you, to Charlie?" "No, it's not that, I don't have a sleeping bag. I don't have anything to go camping." He calmed down immediately and took me in is arms laughing. "It's not funny." I insisted. "Of course it's not." He said, trying to keep a straight face. He just ended up laughing at me again after about two seconds.

He helped me to find everything I had that could be useful and promised me to lend me everything missing. "Anyway, we already have my tent." He added. I realised at that moment I would be sleeping in Jacob's arms this week-end. The idea was making me slightly uncomfortable. 'Stop it fool, you'll be fine.' I told myself convincingly.

Time ran so fast it was nearly ten when we had everything packed in the truck. "Good night Bells." He said kissing me goodnight. "I'll see you tomorrow." I replied cheerfully before waving him goodbye and going back into the house.

I drove to La Push really early the next morning. When I got there, everyone was ready and waiting for me. I was delighted to see that Emily was coming with us as well. I joked around with Embry and Sam as they put all camping things on their backs. I spent most of my time walking by Emily's side. It was nice to have I girl around. I could tell her everything. 'Kind of like Alice.' I stopped myself immediately. This was the backfire consequences of living again. I couldn't held all the memories of the Cullen's buried deep into my heart, some would come out to ruin my mood when I least expected it. I stayed silent for about half an hour before Jake took me apart from the group and asked me why I was so sad. "It's nothing." I told him. I didn't want to spoil his enthusiasm so I made a big effort to be cheerful again. It seemed to work. We walked for several hours. I fell twice but didn't break any bone so it wasn't so bad.

We stopped in a meadow, it wasn't my meadow but it annoyed me anyway. While everyone was setting their tent and Sam starting a fire, all I could do was stare blankly in front of me, my arms crossed tightly on my chest, trying to keep the tears in. Emily made dinner and I helped her as much as I could. After everyone had eaten, it was almost dark outside so everyone took place around the fire and Sam told us stories about werewolves and Embry legends about the elders. Jacob hold me tight to him the entire time, with all the heat irradiating from him I didn't event need the fire. His face was beautiful in the fire's glimmering light though. We went to bed and we snuggled inside the sleeping bag. His kisses were so soft, so hot I are trouble keeping my breathing even. "Bella." He whispered in the dark after we'd agreed on going to sleep. "Yes." I replied faintly, half sleeping already. "I need to tell you something." But I was already gone.

"Ahhhhhhhh." I woke up panicked, the birds were chirping all around our tent. I didn't care about the birds. "Bella what is it?" Jacob asked still sleepy. "Nothing." I breathed. "It's nothing." I said again, my voice sounding so far from me. I had made a really bad dream. It was simply horrifying. I had dreamt of Edward. It was the weirdest dream. We were dancing in the meadow to my lullaby. He had a tux on and me a wedding dress. A WEDDING DRESS for god's sake. Only the dress was ripped everywhere. 'Kind of like my heart.' I thought bitterly. We were dancing and we had shared a long, perfect kiss then Jacob had appeared. I had left Edward in the center of the meadow but as I was running towards Jacob, my body had started to bleed from everywhere. Edward and Jacob had started to fight. Then I had woken up screaming my heart's out.

I got up, everyone was still asleep or so I thought. I was disgusted with myself. The first time I was spending the night on Jake's arms, I dreamt of Edward kissing me. I started to walk right in front of me. I went so far I got scared I wouldn't find my way back. I calmed down when I remembered that a pack of werewolves surely wouldn't have any problem to find me so I sat on a big tree laying on the ground and waited for Jacob to come and find me.

After about fifteen minute, I heard noise coming from behind my back. I was about to go to find out what it was when the entire pack came running towards me in their wolves forms. Jacob changed back as soon as he reached me but the others just continued straight ahead, right in the direction I had heard the noise. "Bella." He screamed relieved. "Come, fast." His voice commanded me. It all went so fast it was like a blur. Jake brought me back to the meadow and almost threw me in Emily's arms. "What's happening?" I asked her starting to panic. Somehow deep in my heart I already knew the answer. "They smelled a vampire." Jacob came back closer to us. "I don't know what's happening when I'm human, come on, we got to get you out of here." He led us through the woods as quickly as we could follow. Emily was worrying about Sam and I knew it was my fault. "It's Victoria isn't it." I stated like it was obvious. "Yes." Jacob agreed reluctantly. Thinking Victoria had been less a couple of feet away from me made me feel sick.

**I hope what you are thinking right now is I got to ****REVIEW this fic ! **


	5. Seeing red

**Chapter 5, we're getting to the point I promised. ****Thanks for your review School Librarian I'll try to make it better for you soon. **

Seeing Red

It had been three months now since the camping trip, since the last time the werewolves had caught the scent of Victoria. But I knew she hadn't given up on me. She just needed time to think of a good plan. It was ironic how a revengeful vampire wanted me dead because my vampire boyfriend had killed her mate to save me before cutting me out of his life.

I had made the nightmare again almost every night for two weeks now. It was a little different every night though. One time, I didn't kiss Edward. When I rejected him, he had just left sadness written on his face and it was it. Another time, I hadn't run back to Jacob and I had never bled. So it was like the kiss and Jacob were related to the bleeding somehow. It was very disturbing.

Dreaming about Edward every night wasn't helping my relationship with Jake. I sometimes found it hard to be around him. The hole in my heart stirred up, aching. I told Jake yesterday I needed the entire day alone to study my exams. It was only half true, because I usually asked him to keep me company while I studied. I tried to defend myself by telling him I was too nervous to stay concentrate if he was there but I know it hurt him anyway. So I was working alone in my room, depressed by the weather. It was a really cloudy Sunday. The multiple layers of clouds barely allow any light to come through.

When the phone rang my heart jumped. I was really nervous even if my exams weren't responsible for it. "Hello." I answered. "Bells, it's me, Sam caught the scent of Victoria while he was patrolling. We're going after her, promise me you'll stay home Bella." His voice was pleading me not to do something reckless that would put me in danger. "I'll stay put." I promised him even if it was killing me to think that all of my friends would risk their lives for me while I sat at home. "I love you Bells." He said before hanging up.

I tried to get back into my study but I just couldn't. Every minute was killing me. My mind kept wandering to life threatening situations the boys of La Push were going through because of me. Unable to stand it anymore, I took my keys and went downstairs. Charlie had been called by work earlier that afternoon. I got into my truck making a plan. I would drive to La Push to be there when the guys would come back. Then I thought about Billy and Emily who were probably waiting for them as well. 'I'll put them in danger too if I go.' I thought sadly. I got out of my truck as determined as I had been when I had entered it less then a minute ago. I would do exactly what I promised Jacob. I wouldn't move. But when I got back on the porch, my blood froze into my veins from the horrifying sight in front of me.

"Hello Bella I'm glad we finally meet again." A chilling musical voice spoke slowly. Flaming red hair. Threatening red eyes. Victoria. In my house. In less than a second, I was near my truck again but I was nowhere near as fast as she was. I heard her frightening giggles behind me; draining all hope from my racing heart. She put a hand over my mouth and a squirmed to try to escape her strong hold. My eyes widened in terror. "Let's go into the woods dear, we wouldn't want to let anyone ear you scream wouldn't we?" She exhaled menacingly. She forced me to walk, pretty much holding all my weight in her iron hold. My legs were numb, my entire body was cold. After we reached the trees, she let me go and forced me to walk ahead some more, we were at the same spot Sam had found me. We were surrounded by tall trees, way beyond ear sight of any possible help.

"Your dogs are quite stupid aren't they? They walked right into my trap; I have two friends taking care of them while I take care of you. They left you all alone for me to take." She smirked. "Now I would love to chat with you some more Bella, but I'm really hungry." She brought me close to her and I shut my eyes tightly, waiting for death to come and take me.

Before I could register anything, I was thrown on the ground roughly. My mind started working again. I flicked my eyes open in time to see a large wolf throwing himself at Victoria's throat. It all went too fast for my mind to keep up; two other wolves joined the first one as the first attack had failed. I noticed one of them was bleeding. I crawled away after almost being crushed by one of the fighter. As soon I was a little safer, I looked back into the fight. My eyes were blurry from tears I didn't even realised I created. I saw that they were too tired from the long run to overtake her. I saw her get a good grip on the wounded wolf. She pulled on the skin on each side of his wound and threw him away like a broken doll. He had landed a few feet from me, growling in pain. I kneeled beside him but I couldn't figure out what to do. His laments were heartbreaking. There was so much blood coming from him. Red falling on the grass; red tainting the wood. Red all over my fingers. Red all around. Darkness closed around me and I felt myself drifting away.

I slowly regained my consciousness. My head was killing me. "Bella can you hear me." I heard a worried male voice say. "Bells come back please." Jacob. He was alive. I opened my eyes a little. I was in his bed. He was gently stroking my hair while Emily looked at me with a sad smile on her face. " What…where…who?" I sputtered. "You're safe now Bells don't worry." Jake assured me. "What happened?" I asked faintly. "It was a trap, when we got to the source of the scent, we found two vampires waiting for us." Jacob began. "But they were too inexperienced and coward; they quickly ran away but not before hurting Embry." Sam continued as he entered the room. "Embry." I breathed. "Is he…" I couldn't say it; it was too awful to imagine. "He's hurt pretty bad but he'll live. We have a strong constitution." Jacob informed me with a sigh. I was getting agitated. "Did you kill Victoria?" Jacob features hardened. "No we didn't." He replied angrily. "We could have but…" Jake began but Sam interrupted him. "Get over it Jacob." Sam ordered. "Things were going perfectly well before HE showed up." Jake snarled back at him. "Who…" I began and my eyes widened in shock as the realisation sank into my heart.


	6. Eclipse 1

**Ok, I needed to split a chapter in two to respect the chronology of the story. Sorry about that. Hope you like it.**

Eclipse

"Things were going perfectly well before he showed up." Jake snarled. "Who…" I began and my eyes widened in shock as the truth sank into my head and my heart.

Edward. "We could have finished her." Jake growled under his breath. My mind went from Sam's comment to the badly wounded Embry. "You know it's not right Jacob." Sam stated calmly. "I know you hate the guy, we all do, but he probably saved Embry. There's no way we could have made it back it time to save him if she hadn't ran away." My mind was racing. Edward had forced Victoria to escape. He was there while I was unconscious. Victoria had escaped. Where was she now? "Where is he now?" Jacob looked hurt that I cared but I needed to know. Sam looked uncomfortable. "He went after her." He admitted with a sigh. "Alone?" I shrieked. I got up and began pacing the room. I was freaked out. Edward was back. Probably to save me considering it couldn't be a coincidence. He was fighting Victoria and her allies alone in the woods. He could already be dead. 'No, he can't be.' I told myself but I was sick with fear. I started crying uncontrollably. Jacob tired to calm me down but in vain. He drove me back to my house. I seemed unable to talk at all. When I got into the house; I didn't even bother trying to look okay. I heard Jacob mumbled that we had encountered Edward today and that I was pretty shaken up. He left out the part where a homicidal vampire had been two seconds away from killing me and the fact that Edward could be dead or hurting somewhere. I went straight to bed.


	7. In the dark

**Yay****, I got 6 reviews this time. I'm going to try to post another chapter today or tomorrow so I made this one really short because it's Edward's POV.**

**Reviews :**

**SymphonyRain****  
****Lola422**

**Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the story.**

**tinkapjill40****  
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**I loved your idea for the dialogue hihi I wish Bella could be more like that. **

**School Librarian****  
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**You guessed right where I'm going with this ;)**

**jacobblacklover24****  
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**Sorry but Edward will be in the story, it's why I put ExB JxB in the summary but keep reading maybe I won't be so cruel with Jake. ;)**

**chinmayee****  
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**Thank you for your honesty, I know my writing ****has big flaws, but a girl got to start somewhere and I'm still adjusting to English it's really different from French. I hope you'll like where I'm going with this story. **

In the Dark

I went against my better judgement when I decided to visit her. I wasn't afraid of waking her. I was afraid of myself. I was so weak when it concerned her. She was both my strength and weakness. Letting her go had been the more difficult thing I ever had to do. When I reached the foot of her bed, her scent hit me. It was the sweetest thing. She seemed so peaceful; her perfect face expressionless; her pale skin glowing in the moonlight.

I wished for a moment that I could just lie beside her and take her in my arms like I used to. I missed just holding her and watching her sleep. My body used to feel alive against her warm skin. Now it was numb. I had ripped my heart out to let her go and now all I wanted was to wake her, apologize for all the awful things I had said and ask beg her to take me back. But I couldn't. I would never be good enough for an angel like her. She deserved someone with no darkness upon him. I would forever be lurking in the dark.

When I had encountered the wolf in the woods, I'd been really surprised. I didn't know a new pack had been formed. Now I understood they were the only reason Bella was still alive. I would never forgive myself for leaving her in such danger. But it was over now and I needed to leave soon. Before dawn in fact. I could not stay longer and be tempted to be weak again. I was just a vampire in love. It was a blessing that she had been unconscious. This way, she would never know I'd been here and I would never have to face the hate in her eyes. I turned to look at her desk; nothing had changed during my absence. A little drawing on her math homework attracted my attention. It was a little broken heart. Names had been written in it but she had erased them. Her breathing became suddenly uneven. I heard her panting, struggling with some horrible nightmare. It killed me no to be able to do anything. I hid in the dark when she woke up screaming.

"Why Edward; why?" She breathed softly. I froze, did she know I was in here? Her voice was so sad but so beautiful. "Why did you come back if you don't care for me." She added, tears pouring out of her eyes. I felt my heart breaking at her words. "Are you dead or just too selfish to understand that I need to see you?" She continued. I was now sure she had no idea I was in the room with her. I realised she knew I was in Forks. She knew I had gone after Victoria. To her I was either too dead or too selfish to pay her the visit she seemed to want so desperately. Maybe if she thought I was dead it would be for the best. "It would kill me if I found out you were dead Edward." She exhaled before her breathing became even again. Maybe I needed to face her and give her closure. Maybe. Would I be able to leave if I saw her again?


	8. Eclipse 2

**A big thanks to my reviewers you are my motivation guys. **

**School Librarian****  
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**Edward surely is an expert at self-loathing. He is lucky we love him anyway ;) **

**tinkapjill40****  
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**Thank you for your wonderful review ******** I think Jacob doesn't know about Edward's powers and Edward doesn't know … yet… about the lie. It's all connected to the dream really even if it's really metaphorical. **

**jacobblacklover24****  
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**I'll be waiting for my review hihi ;) **

**SymphonyRain****  
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**I'm glad you are open to both possibilities. I hope you will choose the same as me. **

**So, here it is. **

Eclipse part two

When I woke up the day after it seemed my whole world had crumbled around me again. I decided that I would drive up to their old house. Edward needed at least a place to park his car. Then I could start investigating from there. I didn't care about missing class, when Charlie would get back I would just have to pretend I was sick. I gathered my things and drove to the beautiful house nestled in the forest. I was disappointed when I realised there was no car around. I decided to get a closer look anyway. I tried the front door and oddly enough, it wasn't lock. I got inside shaking slightly. It was like stood still beyond these doors. Every piece of furniture was covered with white sheets. I walked among them like a ghost. When I saw the piano I lost what was left of my composure. It had been recently used. The white sheet was carefully folded on the bench. I was having problem breathing. I knew the piano was the only proof of his presence I would find in here so I regretfully decided to leave the house. I got out and saw a miracle.

The sight of him made my heart stop. I couldn't believe it, it was really him. Pale angelic features; his jaw tensed into an expression of great seriousness. He was leaning against my truck like he had been waiting for me. Wind was playing with his bronze messy hair. How I used to love playing with those hair. His beautiful face wore all the sadness in the world.

I ran towards him without thinking, without breathing, there was nothing else in the world but him, he was alive. He was here. My heart was racing, my blood boiled madly in my veins. I launched myself at him, he caught me in mid-air and I clutched my arms around his hard body. I locked my eyes deep into his, bewitched to see them sparkle at me. His Topaz eyes were telling me so much; I wanted to lose myself in their depths. I could see hurt, worry and love behind the rich golden colour. My entire body was shaking furiously. Electricity ran from his fingers as he lightly brushed my skin from my elbow to the back of my neck. His touch was exactly as I remembered it, cold but softer than silk. It sent shivers all over my warm body. Tenderness irradiated from him, he pulled me closer against his chest, shifted his body so that my back rested against the car and he bent down. His hungry lips found mine in a way I never thought possible, it was a soft, slow, heartbreaking kiss.

My mind began to fly, to the meadow where we'd shared our first kiss. How he'd first said I love you. My love for him awakened and got bigger than the sun. His arms were still holding me up. For a second, everything felt right again. I would never have thought it was possible to feel such a longing for his touch; such a craving for his love. I felt like melting into him. Becoming only one; never seeing him turn away from me again. It was so intense I can't describe it. I wanted to give him everything that I am. The kiss stopped and he rested his forehead against mine, our noses touching lightly. I was intoxicated by his scent and he seemed to feel the same. Only my scent was sweeter for him than any other scent. My blood sang to him. But at this moment where time didn't exist; I knew my blood wasn't what he was missing the most.

"Breathe Bella." He whispered low in my ear. His velvet voice was perfect. I was forced back down to earth. I realised I'd been holding by breath the entire time. I forced air into my lungs. Edward placed me safely on the ground and his face hardened again. It had just been a fleeting moment of happiness before reality came back to hit me in the face. We had belonged to each other once more for a fleeting moment, 'le temps d'une éclipse.'

**Ok I'm not completely happy about this. I wanted it to be really INTENSE. I was listening "Dancing" from Elisa while I was writing it and I wish the words could have expressed half the emotion of the song. Also I used a French expression. I really couldn't translate it without ruining it for me so you'll forgive me. Anyway I updated so let me know what you think. ;) I love you guys. Oh and should I do the Edward's POV of this ?**


	9. Darkest desire

**Okay Chapter 9 but don' get too excited nothing new in here just Edward's POV on the last chapter. A big thanks to my faithful reviewers. I want to ear your opinion on this too. **

**jacobblacklover24****  
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**I hope Edward and Bella could see thing as simply as that. Thanks for your review. :D**

**SymphonyRain****  
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**Thank you. I'm so happy you guys liked it. Yes Bella is still with Jake she'll realize it soon enough and more twists to come I promise. **

**School Librarian**

**Here is Edward POV, I would say that it's SOOOO Edward to try to be responsible for the both of them. **

Darkest Desire

I was in the old house. I couldn't find peace for making my family leave the town they loved just because of my selfishness. The piano was calling to me. I played for hours, letting the sadness and emptiness within me fill the room in a sad serenade. I had lost my soul for the second time when I'd left Bella and on top of that I'd deserted my family; running away from all the people that loved me. I couldn't bring myself to leave and yet I couldn't figure out if seeing Bella would be something that I could bare. When I heard the rumbling of a car I knew too I obeyed to my first instinct and ran outside by the back door. Then I just decided that faith had taken the decision for me.

I was worried of her reaction and kicking myself for not leaving sooner. I should have left I just didn't want to. I wanted a reason to stay. I waited by her car for all the agonizing minutes she spent in the house. I was so afraid to see hate in her eyes; so afraid I wouldn't recognize my Bella. I would deserve that hate though.

I heard her before I saw her. The second our eyes connected I felt human again; not able to repress my feelings or to be cautious. She ran towards me the loneliness in her eyes only mirroring mine. I caught her in my arms when she jumped. Her skin was even softer than I remembered. Her scent hit me like never before and my body was aching. But I wasn't hungry for her blood; I was just starving for her touch. I touched her everywhere skin was visible at vampire speed and I was pretty sure she couldn't feel half of it. I needed more. I kissed her like never before wanting to take her in completely. For a split second, I really thought it had been foolish of me to try to keep us apart. We belonged to each other. Her lips were so soft and warm I wanted to kiss them forever. I wanted to take her into my arms and bring her into my world. I pictured myself lowering my head on her neck to taste her blood. I wanted to bite her so that we could be together forever with nothing ever coming between us. I wanted to be complete. If only I could turn her. Instead of letting my mouth kiss my way to her neck; I just kissed her ear. Her neck was off limits for me if I didn't want to be tempted. I wished for a moment that my selfishness could go all the way and that I would find it in me to ravish her life like she'd ravish my heart. I wished in this fleeting instant that I would give into my darkest desire. I stopped myself right here, I couldn't do that to her; never. I had to be strong and stay rational for the both of us.

"Breathe Bella." I whispered to her. The beating of her heart was the most beautiful melody. I let go of her and placed her carefully on the ground. I could feel my resolution to let her have a normal life screaming in my mind. I could never accept the sacrifice of an angel as the price of my happiness. Never.


	10. Torn

Okay Chapter 10, I wrote this before even writing the beginning and I wanted to fix it up and make it longer but as you will see it's not a very positive chapter so I'm posting it anyway.

crystalwolfberri  
2008-01-22  
ch 9,

Yay ! Thanks for your review keep reading and keep reviewing because I love it.

tinkapjill40  
2008-01-22  
ch 9,

I love your reviews so I'm going to give you time in between chapters so you can review all of them. MOUHAHAHA I'm evil.

chinmayee  
2008-01-22  
ch 9,

I'm glad that you liked it ;)

School Librarian  
2008-01-22  
ch 9,

Everything will come in time très chère. (Promise it's soon ;))

jacobblacklover24  
2008-01-22  
ch 9,

If Bella doesn't stay with him you can have him ;) What's your name so I can be sure to give him to the right girl ? ;)

Chapter 10 - Torn

We broke apart reluctantly but I knew it couldn't last. I was with Jake and he was, well, he was not in love with me.

"Bella I'm sorry…" He started his voice bringing memories of the day he'd left back to the surface.

"Please don't apologize." I didn't him to stand there and apologize for kissing me, for leaving me because I wasn't the right one for him. I already knew all of that. And yet.. I had hoped… but I was a fool for ever hoping he'd be back to tell me he loved me. It was very foolish of me.

I tried to look casual, like I hadn't just kissed my one true love, like he had never left me taking the pieces of my heart with him, like I didn't care. I needed to say something; I didn't want him to think I was actually hoping he would stay with me, that he loved me. I knew better.

"I just wanted you to know you're safe now. Victoria is dead."

"Thanks I guess, does that mean you'll leave soon." I asked trying to sound detached. I saw in his eyes what he was about to answer and decided to speak first. "Just so you know, I have a new life now, you can't just come back and mess with it."

I made it sound harsh so that he knew I was mad at him. 'Why, why now? Why did you come back NOW, why do you have to leave again, why.' A big knot in my throat forbidding me to speak again, I just stared at his angelic face. I could tell he was hurt.

"I'm with Jacob now." I waited for his reaction. I didn't know what I was waiting for.

"Jacob." He stated struggling to say his name. "He is a werewolf isn't he?" He was clearly trying to keep his voice even but I sensed the edge of angriness in it.

"Yeah, so?" All his muscles were tensed, he was almost shaking, fist dangerously closed. But he kept is comments for himself because he took a deep breath and stared at me blankly. His eyes were black. Minutes passed by, hours maybe, it was so hard to keep track of time in a moment like this.

"I'm happy you moved on Bella." He said faintly.

'What, you are HAPPY? You were my true love, my everything, my soul mate. I hate you for leaving me.' I felt tears filling my eyes but I never said the word burning my tongue, I never admitted to him that I hated him for leaving because I was still hurt by his absence every second of every day. Instead I just said a lie.

"I'm happy I moved on too."

Ridiculous how easy it was to say it even if it was the most outrageous lie I had ever said. How ironic that I knew how to lie only when it hurt me the most. He would leave, I would make him. This way I would never have to face the temptation of falling again, of leaving Jacob. If I left him, considering that he had imprinted on me, it would kill him and I would never put him through that. 'I wouldn't.' I was a fool only trying to convince myself. If Edward was to beg me and tell me he never stopped loving me like I imagined he would so often, I would go to him. Painful truth was that I still loved him. Truly, madly, deeply and he didn't love me back. Not enough to stay with me anyway.


	11. Ice

**Thanks for the reviews, I'm in a hurry so I'll answer to them later. Hope you'll like it, I was feeling guilty about last chapter. **

Ice

'I thought I would be strong enough to stand it but I'm not.' I admitted to myself. 'I left her for her own good; I wanted her to live a normal life, to be happy. Now she is with him. I have lost my one true love to a werewolf, who has even more chances to kill her by accident than me and who won't age at all like me. Stupid me. I was so blind I never saw that she wasn't the normal girl type. 'I would do anything to have her back, I love her so much.' If I still had a beating heart it would have stopped the moment she told me she was in love with a werewolf. She is so beautiful and me so hollow without my Bella. 'Too bad for me, she's not mine anymore and never will be again.' When I think of her smile when I first played her the lullaby or of her eyes glimmering in the shadows of her warm bed, it makes me sick. 'I lost her for nothing.' It was the awful truth I would have to live with for the rest of eternity.

I decided that I would leave as soon as possible but as I lay on the grass of the meadow, our meadow, I couldn't resist the urge of seeing her one last time, to make sure she was happy. The kiss we'd shared had awakened my heart; I couldn't let her go without another glance to her perfect face. 'Stop it you fool.' But I was a fool very much in love so I got up to go check on her. I got to her house and realised with disgust that he was with her. His smell was revolting me and ruined the sweet scent of my Bella. I was a little relieved when I saw them talking in the living room instead of in her bedroom. I didn't know if I could have stand the sight of them in the bed we'd shared so many times.

I had to be enormously careful. I had to make sure the wind was blowing in the right direction so that he wouldn't smell my scent. But his own was coming so strongly towards me it was easy figuring out where the wind came from. I knew Bella would be even madder at me if she ever found out but I didn't care. I was ashamed of myself for not respecting her privacy but I wasn't thinking straight anymore. My sensitive vampire ears allowed me to get the conversation. It was so dark I wasn't worrying about them seeing me. "It was nothing I promised." Bella said in a rush. I guessed she was talking about me. She was right, I was nothing worth mentioning. "Don't lie to me Bella you entire body reeks vampire." Jacob replied angrily. I wanted to kill the boy, didn't he see she was hurt by his behaviour? "He comes back after breaking you and you threw yourself in his bloodsucking arms." The dog barked at her. 'She was into pieces when he left and she still feels for him, how can she, she should be mine. The leech sure put a spell on her. No one in their right mind would run towards pain like that.' His thoughts were rushing through his brain.

'Bella did I really break your heart?' I asked myself. I thought she would be over me in no time after all I was only a mistake nature had made, a monster. "Jake please, I lost control I thought he was dead. He killed Victoria." She said defending herself. 'I don't care if he killed all his kind, it's him I want dead.' I was getting angrier by the minute. I couldn't figure out yet what details she'd said to him. The reminiscence of her lips against mine was almost tangible to me. I could still feel the warmth of her body and her soul completing mine. It was because of the kiss that I was still here. I didn't know what I was hoping for, that she would say she still loved me. Improbable since she hated me.

"Please Jake say something." She pleaded. "Are you still in love with him." He asked and I stopped breathing. 'If you do I'll track him down and kill him.' I almost laughed at this, I would like to see him try this way maybe I could kill him without being the bad guy. I wished I could hear Bella's thought like never before went she stayed silent for what felt like an eternity. "Jake I'm with you now and you've imprinted on me. I love you, I won't leave you." My sweet angel breathed softly while what was left of my heart got swept away and my being turned numb again. She had really moved on. There was no reason for me to stay in Forks or even in this world. 'After this I'll never be able to admit to her I never imprinted. Doesn't change a thing, what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Anything to keep her away from that monster.' My heart became as cold as ice when I caught this thought. The bastard would pay.


	12. Tears

**Wow sorry guys it took more time than usual. I hope you'll like it I really have no time to write these days. I have a big exam Monday and on top of that I'm really busy this week. **** I hope I'll update again before Sunday, but I should be able to do it if I get enough reviews ;) Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter, I really loved reading your comments **

Tears

Jacob didn't want to understand. He was so mad at me I was feeling like the most disgusting person alive. He was rambling about Edward being a "filthy bloodsucker" He would stop to look at me once in a while only to shrug and frown at my scent again and again. I was very aware that I had wronged him by kissing Edward. I had apologized and apologized over the past few hours but nothing seemed to bring him peace. "It was nothing I promised." I said trying to put a sentence in between his growls. "Don't lie to me Bella you entire body reeks vampire." Jacob replied angrily. His fury was visible on his face but I could see the hurt in his eyes being reflected in mine. My heart was pounding deep in my chest when I stopped to think about this afternoon. Was it real, had Edward and I really kissed or was it just my twisted imagination stepping in to ruin my life. Tears formed into my eyes as I thought about how hopeful my heart had become for a moment. Tears for my love towards Edward, tears for Jake whom I loved too, tears for my shattered dreams. Tears for the unspoken words raging through my heart. "He comes back after breaking you and you threw yourself in his bloodsucking arms." I quick found out it was hard to breath in here. I'd really hurt Jake, of course he would be worried I would go back to Edward. But I had to tell him about the kiss because I felt like honesty would be the only thing able to save us right now. "Jake please, I lost control I thought he was dead. He killed Victoria." I tried to be rational about this though there wasn't anything to be rational over. Edward hadn't come back to steal me away from Jake. In fact I didn't know why he'd come back. I could still feel the coldness of his body and his strong arms holding me close in a protective manner like it was their only purpose. It was because of the kiss that Jacob was so upset. It was because of the same kiss that I was so upset. I didn't know what I was hoping for, that he would forgive me or that he wouldn't. Did I deserve to be forgiven? Did I deserve to be loved when I was obsessed with another man? Well, a vampire not a man. How did my world get so complicated? "Please Jake say something." Anything would be better than that awkward silence. "Are you still in love with him." I was wrong, this wasn't better at all. He asked and I stopped breathing. It was the question I dreaded the most because I didn't want to lie but I didn't want to say the truth either. "Jake I'm with you now and you've imprinted on me. I love you, I won't leave you." Jake became uneasy like something was bothering him. I could see he was no longer mad at me. He took me in his arms but I couldn't help but notice that it wasn't as intense as when Edward was holding me. He wrinkled his nose, I knew the smell was bothering him. "I'm going to take a shower." I kissed him lightly. "It's late, I should go, Charlie will be back soon." I nodded, a little relieve that I would be alone to think about this crazy day.

I went upstairs and decided to take a bath. The hot water and the bubbles soothed my heart. I relaxed for about half an hour before my muscles stopped hurting. I had woken up thinking that Edward was dead and now I had kissed him, made Jake really mad at me and almost ruining our relationship. I couldn't stop asking myself why Edward had kissed me, why I had let him kiss me. I didn't make sense. Now he was probably a hundred miles away. I was beating myself up for everything I had done that day. When I reminisced about the kiss, my breathing got heavier. I really wanted it but it felt like he wanted it as much as me or even more.

I dried myself and put a towel around me, heading for my bedroom. I was about to drop it and change when I realised that the shadow standing in the corner was looking too familiar. It was Edward. I choked in surprise. "What?" I stopped, unable to form any other coherent words. "Bella, I have to talk to you."


	13. Cats and dogs

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope I'll be able to post the real plot this week-end. **

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**Sorry about Alice, I love her but this fic is really about three people in love. ****Maybe we'll see her in later chapters.**

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**I love Edward too yay !)**

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**I hope she will believe him too, but what is he going to say ? **

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**Maybe he won't**** tell her hihi**

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**Sorry you'll have to wait another for chapter to know ;) **

Cats and Dogs

EPOV

I caught him right before he could cross the treaty line. I wanted him as far as Bella as possible for this. "Jacob." I called out. He turned and growled menacingly. I wanted to kill him so badly. "Now be a good werewolf and calm down will you?" I asked annoyed. 'Why would I do that?' He thought but he turned back into his human form before I could answer. He was playing it cool. After all, he had my girl now and he seemed pretty pleased about it. He froze when he heard my words. "I know you lied about imprinting on Bella." His eyes widened in surprise and anger. His cocky grin faded. "How…You're mad, I did imprint on her you leech." He turned away and was about to change again when I placed myself in front of him.

"Black you go back right now and you tell her." I said commandingly. "I won't be ordered around by a filthy bloodsucker like you." He growled back. 'He broke her heart when he left, now he's forcing me to break it again.' "Stop that it's pointless I can hear your thoughts." I was finding it hard to control myself around this immature dog. He started walking away. He was trying to keep a straight face to even if my words had shaken him. "What will you do when you'll imprint Jacob, you'll leave her alone in your new house, or pregnant maybe?" He stopped dead in his tracks. "You destroyed her when you left." I winced at the mental pictures of an empty Bella he threw at me with his mind. "I thought **you** would understand I was trying to do the right thing." I breathed. I could tell my words were beginning to sink in. He was thinking that I should have stayed away but at the same time he knew it wasn't right to do this to Bella. He sighed. "I really messed up, I know that, but you don't deserve to be with her." "I guess she'll have to decide herself." I pointed out. I knew now that if she would take me back I would stay with her. I would call Alice and bring the entire family home. I didn't deserve it but I had failed to live my life in any other way. I had failed to keep my family happy. I had failed Bella. I would never refuse a second chance. The dog shrugged. He was thinking the same thing, well the part about the second chance and all. He was very worried she would take me back. I almost smiled when I realised he was afraid she still loved me. "I give you 24 hours otherwise I'll tell her." I said before disappearing into the night. He must be really pissed off. I thought happily. I could bet he would tell her in the reservation so that I wouldn't interfere. Now I had one last thing to do. If Bella was to forgive him tomorrow, then I had to say some things tonight. I went to her window and sneaked into her room like I had done so many times. This time I wanted her to see me. I caught the sound of the water running. Her scent was making me feel dizzy, almost. It was now pure, untainted by the smell of that dog and I knew she would be free from the smell too. I breathed deeply, trying to take it in as much as I could for if she was to choose him, I would never smell it again. I would have blushed when she walked in if I wasn't dead already. She was naked under the white towel. An angel before my damned eyes. She gasped when she took in the sight of me.

"What?" She seemed so startled. "Bella, I have to talk to you." I exhaled. She needed to know. I couldn't bare thinking that she would be hurt soon. If I thought there was any chance that he would never imprint… but she needed to know. I couldn't leave her thinking she was all alone. She fumbled nervously through her stuff, trying to find her pyjamas. Her skin looked so warm and soft. I was painfully aware that she was naked inches away from me. Tiny drops of water decorated her neck and I wanted to kiss them away.


	14. Whisper

**Sorry guys it was mean to make you wait like this and I should have warned you because I had to get up at 4 a.m. all week and I preferred to wait for my brain to be back before writing this. It shouldn't happen again and anyway I don't know if there are a lot of chapters still to come in this story. Maybe I'll do a sequel or something you'll tell me what you think. **

**LeighK81****  
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**It will be clearer in this chapter I hope. **

**tinkapjill40****  
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**Hihi hope you'll be happy with what's to come.**

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**Yes the characters should be smacked on the head sometimes. ;)**

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**You always see where I'm going how do you do it ?**

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**Sorry for the wait I hope you'll forgive me.**

Whisper

I was blushing furiously. Edward was in my room and I was wearing close to nothing. My mind was so lost I couldn't figure out where my clothes were. It seemed to take me forever just to find a decent shirt. I could feel Edward's eyes on me and it wasn't helping my focus. I was so aware of his presence, of his body right beside me. It could have been like any other night he'd come to hold me while I slept. But it wasn't. I let out a sigh. He turned around giving me enough privacy to look for my underwear. I stopped myself when I realised I was looking for the prettiest ones. 'He's not going to see them just hurry.' I told myself. When I finally had everything I went back to the bathroom. "I'll be right back." It was all that I managed to say. Once the door was safely forming a wall between us, I looked in the mirror to call some of my own determination to the surface. I needed to be strong, to patiently hear what I'd have to say without breaking down. I dressed up. I went carefully back to my room as if a whisper would scare the vision away.

I stayed out of sight for a second, admiring the god standing next to my drawer. If only it had all been a nightmare. I walked into the room trying to control my heartbeat. I knew he could hear it and I blushed even more thinking that he knew how nervous I really was. "What did you want to talk about." I said in a shaky voice. I couldn't manage to regain my composure. When I had lied to him near his house, it wasn't as hard. Now he was in my room and it was dark and all I really wanted to do was to be surrounded by his arms that gave me such a sense of security. But his face was straight and his eyes weren't reflecting any emotions. And suddenly I couldn't take it anymore.

"Why?" I said loudly staring at him. "Why what Bella." He replied still looking impassive. "Why did you come back? Why are you still here? No wait I have a better one; why did you leave me?" I was angry, I could feel all the passion, all the hurt, all the broken promises coming back to the surface. I wanted to throw at him the hole in my heart so that he would know what he did to me. He lost at once a little of his composure and it calmed me a little. It felt good to ask these questions for they had been poisoning my mind for too long now. "You really don't know?" He asked faintly. He looked sad. "Bella I did both of these things for the exact same reason." My mind tried to figure out how he could have left and came back for the same reason but it didn't make sense. How could someone do two thing so opposite for the same reason. I crossed my arms on my chest and waited. He seemed uneasy; I'd never saw him so unsure of himself. Almost like he was afraid.

It took him several minutes before he locked his eyes on mine. "Bella I love you." He whispered softly. My world stopped. I couldn't believe my ears. Surely I was dreaming again or I had knocked my head really hard in the bathtub. "What?" I asked confounded. "I love you." He repeated more firmly. My heart was racing, my entire body shivering. I expected anything but this. His eyes were burning mine as longing and love invaded the sweet shades of gold. I think my legs gave up on me because before I knew it Edward was holding me up. His cold arms around me, his eyes full of love like never before it all seemed like a bittersweet dream. Breathing was harder then I ever experienced it. His velvet voice continued. "Bella, I tried to push you away to keep you safe, I was a wreck without you. I never stopped loving you." His voice as heartbreaking, he sounded so regretful, so sad. I was struggling to get out words but he put his finger gently on them and lowered his face so that our noses were almost touching. "Don't say anything, I understand that I may be too late, that you may not love me anymore." He took a deep breath even thought he didn't need any and my eyes filled with tears. I wanted to scream that I still loved him. "But Bella, just know that as long as you don't order me to leave, just whisper my name and I'll be there." He crushed his lips to mine for a second and when I opened my eyes again I was alone. I struggled to regain my balance. When I looked down at my feet to steady them, I noticed that there was a note on the floor. I kneeled down for tears were blurring my vision and could not see the words. I noticed that the wood tile of my floor which held the note was slightly unsteady. It was in Edward's beautiful handwriting.

_All I stole is under this tile and remember _

_I'm just a whisper away._

_- Edward_

I cried in sorrow and happiness when I discovered all the pictures and most importantly the lullaby hiding in my floor. All this time I had been inches away from it. I listened to the melody again and again and slept more peacefully that I had done in months, even if I would face the cruelest dilemma tomorrow.


	15. Confessions

**Ok you'll hate me at the end of this chapter but it was the longest I could managed to do.**

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To answer your question, it depends. I'm not a Bella I'm afraid. Perhaps I'm more like Rosalie (though I do not look like her at all) but again Rosalie have a really hot temper so maybe more like Angela (though it's less exciting) hihi ;) **

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2008-02-10  
ch 14, **

**Here it comes**

Confessions

Edward's declaration seemed so unreal in the morning light. If it hadn't been for my sweet lullaby still playing I would have thought it was all a dream. I stretched in my bed, trying to postpone the inevitable agony I know I would feel if I had to get up and actually choosing between my vampire and my werewolf. Edward had left me. He said that it was all for my own happiness but what if a part of him needed to get away from me? Then he would leave again soon. But if Edward was telling the truth, could I resist him forever? Would I end up cheating on Jacob more than I already did? 'I could tell him to go away.' But as soon as I thought it I knew I would never tell Edward to go away. But again, I could never leave Jacob. I didn't really know all the details about imprinting but it surely would kill him if he was to see me in Edward's arms. Edward would be fine on his own. I knew he didn't really need me. I longed for him, but what if he was to leave me again? On the other hand, Jacob would not grow old with me. Edward would never be older but he could change me… but he wouldn't. I signed in despair as a monumental headache prevented me from doing anything but stare to the ceiling.

I was really surprised when I heard the distinctive thud of little rocks crashing against my window. It was odd, Jake had agreed on seeing me only later in the afternoon. I opened my window. The sun was out today. 'Edward won't be able to watch over me.' I thought disappointingly. "Bells can you come out?" My actual boyfriend asked with a weird look on his face. "Coming." I dressed unwillingly and made my way to him with a fake smile on my face. He captured me in his arms and kissed me passionately. I was surprised and a little reluctant since yesterday's fight but it was nice to just feel loved and not think of anything else so I gave in. "Bells I have something important to say." He said breaking the kiss. I waited patiently, as long as he didn't ask me for answers I was willing to listen for whatever he would like to say.

"Bells I love you." Jake exhaled, his arms tightening around me. Why everyone around me were saying these beautiful words when I didn't deserved them. I felt a lone tear roll on my cheek. He loved me so much and yet I was torn between him and Edward. "I love you too, what with the sad face?" I asked trying to sound normal. I was worried he figured out Edward hadn't left and that he would ask me to make a choice right now. "Bells I have something to confess to you but I want you to keep an open mind, please." He begged. Okay now I was beyond worried, what was going on? "Bells you remember the night I told you I'd imprinted on you?" He trailed off. I really didn't know where he was going with this so I just nodded. He seemed uncomfortable that I wasn't saying anything like he hoped that we would have rambled on longer before getting to the point. "Bells I was wrong, I didn't really imprint on you." His eyes were glued to the floor. I was totally lost.

"You didn't really imprint on me?" I repeated, shocked. My heart was jumping in my chest. "How did you find out I mean did you imprint on somebody else?" My voice was all high and squeaky now. I couldn't understand how he could have mistaken his love for imprinting and why did he realised it now? He sighed deeply, his eyes looked so sad and clouded with guilt. Wait guilt? "Bells I knew all along I'm sorry." My mind took about 30 seconds to register this piece of information. My eyes widened in shock. I harshly put myself away from his. "You **lied **to me?" I could tell he was torn apart but I didn't care. He had lied to me when I was most fragile, he used it to convince me I belonged to him and I had almost believed it. If looks could kill, he would have burned on the spot. He tried to take my hand back but I hit him instead. "Bells please I know it was wrong I wish you would forgive me." I cut him off. "Forgive you? Wait you think that I'll understand that you lied to me about it because you loved me and that it's all okay?" I screamed at him. I felt so betrayed. He was supposed to be my best friend, to take care of me. "Just so you know, Edward visited me in my **bedroom** last night." I don't know why I said that, it implied so much more than what really happened but I wanted to hurt him so that it would chase off the sheepish look he had on his face. His reacted immediately. He was getting angry too and it seemed so much easier to be angry than to face the pain. "The filthy leech is responsible for all of this; he would like to have a little more fun with his pet I guess." He growled bitterly. Before I knew what I was doing I slapped him. "How dare you?" I hissed.


	16. It's all about love

**Sorry guys exams are ruining my life at the moment. ****I'm doing my best. Tell me what you think. Thanks for the reviews I need more to keep me sane this week. **

It's all about love

I would be lying if I said that I felt guilty about slapping him. I mean he had just called me a pet; like Edward considered me to be so beneath him. But I admit the violence had calmed me down a little. Jacob betrayed my trust. I didn't have a second to feel the tears coming that they were already pouring out. All this time I thought fate had given me a second chance it was really just a lie. He didn't even realise what he had done. "Am I that expendable to you so that you could use me before you imprint?" I sobbed. It was unfair and I knew it. I mean, deep down I knew he hadn't done it to hurt me but it didn't excuse anything. He tried to take me in his arms to comfort me but I pulled away. "I'm sorry Bells, I wish I could make it better, I wish I could go back in time and…" "But you can't." I interrupted him. I dried my tears as much as I could manage. "I need time to think." I stated refusing to look at him. He sighed. "Bells I don't want to leave you alone like this." He tried to follow me when I walked back into the house but I closed the door. "Bella, please, I love you." He begged. I just wanted him to go away. "This…" I waved my hand between him and me. "This, it's not love." I slammed the door closed again and fell to the floor. I was so sad, so angry. My heart was jumping, my body shacking, my cheeks soaked. If it wasn't as bad as when Edward had left, it was near. Edward, just thinking about him made it a little hard to bear and before I could stop myself I did what I had been dying to do since last night. "Edward." I whispered.

Before I knew it I was pressed against a hard body and encircled by one strong, cold pair of arms. I drowned myself in his scent not trying to find my way to the surface. I don't know how he got me to lay down on my bed but I remember asking him to hold me. Nestled in his arms I could feel peace again. I was home. I didn't know how long it'd been since this morning. "Where is he?" I breathed. "He's been gone for a while but he smelled me and he didn't look so thrilled about it." I looked into his eyes. He looked worried. About me and how I would react. I could swear there was hope in his eyes. I was amazed to see he hadn't lie, that he was really just a whisper away and that he loved me. It seemed too good to be true.

He brushed the side of my face softly. We were face to face now he was no longer holding me. We just stared into each other eyes. Just like that I found myself falling again. I found myself tracing his handsome feature with my hand. He was real. He kissed my hand and I shivered. His skin was deliciously cold, calming my body, my soul. It was like we were frozen in silence. I could see the hope growing in his eyes. I let myself reach out to put my lips on his. Then it became crystal clear to me. Why Jacob had lied, why Edward had left. It was all about love. I had failed in fooling myself; I was still in love with Edward. I had been all along and no matter how hard I would try to move on I never would. The phone rang and startled us. I tried to come back to reality and in a second Edward was handing me the phone. "Hello." My voice was all weird. "Are you okay Bella." Charlie. "Yes dad why?" I tried to sound casual. Charlie wasn't used to call me something was off. "Well, I'm at Billy's and we saw Jake earlier this afternoon and he looked quite upset, I was afraid something was wrong with you guys." I took a moment to decide whether or not I should tell him but the truth is I didn't want him to come home right now so I lied. "Everything's fine I'm working on my French essay, we just had a little fight because I couldn't go camping." Charlie sighed, he knew I was lying, but he respected my choice to keep him in the dark for now. "Okay Bells I'm going to get home pretty late don't cook for me." "Thanks dad." I hung up. The phone call had put the situation back into reality. Edward was still standing up beside my bed. He looked unsure again. "Should I leave you alone if you want to, uh, figure things out?" He asked reluctantly. I took his arms and pulled him towards me. "I love you too Edward, I never stopped." I confessed.


End file.
